[Miss J]

Seeing how well my thingamajig on The Dying Detective went, I thought I'd try making a whozawhatzit out of The Cardboard Box, The Red Circle, and all of the other stories in His Last Bow and Casebook of Sherlock Holmes (and, if I'm in a good mood, The Valley of Fear ;D). Also, seeing as I've already mentioned my ability to write (or there lack of), I see no reason to stall any longer, so let the crap fest... BEGIN!

My First Examination of The Cardboard Box:

First thought: Alright, second story! Let's see how this one goes, 'ey? :)

"In choosing a few typical cases [...]"
Pardon, but... 'typical'? Have any of these cases been typical? Save for the obvious ones where, you know, you found a beggar that could recite Shakespeare and the other one where an Adamanian midget almost nailed you with a poison blow-dart. Most typical, indeed. :|

Curled upon the sofa? Like a cat?
(Post link to Lulcat!Holmes here) :3

Why would a doctor have a depleted bank account? Surely a doctor would make a good living, especially during those times. Perhaps working with Holmes prevented him from taking in as many patients as before? But if that was so, wouldn't Holmes lend him money to make up for the losses? Hmm....

Notice how Holmes only laughs when someone either says/does something stupid or when he amazes someone. What an awesome jerk he is! xD

Holmes is a Poe fan? But I distinctly remember him dissing Dupin in A Study in Scarlet. Maybe Poe grew on him...?

HAHA! Such a showoff. A brilliant showoff, albeit, but a showoff none the less! xD

Hold it... to have seen the panel on the "remarkable contents of a packet sent to Miss Cushing of Cross Street," Holmes would have had to have read the financial section (for that's the one he handed to Watson). That'd be all fine and dandy if it hadn't been mentioned many times in previous stories that he only reads the agony and crime sections. Just a trifle, I suppose, but you know the thing about trifles......

Sounds like a package that a certain Dr. Lecter would enjoy as a teatime snack.....

Yay Lestrade! He's like, ten times cooler than Hopkins. :)

"Ring for our boots"...?" Lawd, Mrs. Hudson really DOES have to do everything for them, doesn't she? o.O

"Lestrade, as wiry, as dapper, and as ferret like as ever [...]"
*Imagines Lestrade with furry ears and bushy tail*
DAWWWWWWWW~

Note to self: Find out what an "antimacassar" is....

Ahh... Holmes has such a way with women... *Dreamy sigh* < 3

"What, did not observe it? I think there can be no doubt of it..."
Owned! xD

You know, I hardly see receiving a package containing two severed human ears a "practical joke", but whatever.....

Hmm... seeing as Holmesie (YES, HOLMESIE) specifically mentioned the knot, it must've been a sailor that tied it. It must be out of the ordinary for him to mention it, so... I'ma place my bets on a sailor.

... Antimacassar??
[Update: (from Dictionary.com) "a small covering, usually ornamental, placed on the backs and arms of upholstered furniture to prevent wear or soiling; a tidy."]

"Brain symptoms"? Geeze, did EVERY woman succumb to brain fever when they were upset? Honestly.... I bet they fainted before contracting it, too. :|

'Bout darn time Holmes got a Strad! No doubt he had enough money to get one in earlier stories, but anywho...

Huh... I never took Holmes to be much of a ranter. I should check into this Paganini chap out for myself!
[Update: An Italian violinist/violist/guitarist! Whodathunkit?]

"I should prefer that you don't mention my name at all in connection with the case, as I choose to be only associated with those crimes which present some difficulty in their solution. Come, Watson." Again; what a smug, awesome jerk! xD

Lawd, Holmes writes monographs on everything, doesn't he? Distinctions between human ears (wait, why would he, of all people, write on that??), different types of soil, different types of cigar ashes... who the heck even BUYS these monographs? Certainly not the chaps at Scotland Yard! (*BOM BOM TSHH*)

Random note: I love how reverent Lestrade seems to be of Holmes now. When we first met him in A Study In Scarlet, he was very critical of Holmes' techniques, but now you can see that he rather looks up to the great detective. Great how the characters have changed over time, innit? (:

"The 'we' is rather fine, Watson, is it not?" My thoughts exactly. xD

"[...] The bogus laundry affair [...] "
WHAT?? XDDD

HAHA! IT WAS A SAILOR! I KNEW IT!! 8D

" [...] Bar a big sharp knife such as most sailors have [...] "
Wait... if he always has said sharp knife on him, why were the ears cut off with a blunt object? An oversight by Doyle, perhaps? Or maybe a second person? The former seems most likely....

"I pulled out my knife and - well, there!" Guess it was an oversight, then.....

A fantastic closing paragraph! Man Doyle knows how to write a story!
Though I'm afraid I can't repeat my one-legged-man metaphor here, this was still a really good story. Not one of the best, but good nonetheless! ^^

Miss J
5-8-09

Well, admittedly, I'm more proud of my first one, but, indeed, there's no harsher critic towards yourself than yourself, 'ey?
So once again, feel free to post your ideas, thoughts, angry rants... anything you like, and I hope I was able to entertain! :)

[John H. Watson]

Ha! Great thoughts! Really enjoyed reading them. Cardboard Box has always been one of my favorites. It has a certain horrific element to it that I love.

[Psmith]

D'awww! Lolcat!Holmes...

I do love Holmes's monographs. So much so, in fact, that whenever I see the word, I think of him. Wait...

Kudos to you for noticing the plot holes - I never, ever notice things like that at all. I read but I do not observe.

[Limited-Fantasy]

Depleted bank account: Watson and them horses.

Financial part of the paper: Maybe Holmes read it earlier? For some reason, I doubt after awhile that he only read the agony columns. He certainly didn't read much politics, but he seemed to read a lot of other things.

Lawl. Holmes and his monographs. XD

[Lady Halle]

You're awesome.

[Miss J]

Ha! Great thoughts! Really enjoyed reading them. Cardboard Box has always been one of my favorites. It has a certain horrific element to it that I love.

Thank you very much! (:
It certainly does! I'd have to say that it's the most graphic Holmes story I've read, as far as flat-out violence goes.

D'awww! Lolcat!Holmes...

I do love Holmes's monographs. So much so, in fact, that whenever I see the word, I think of him. Wait...

Kudos to you for noticing the plot holes - I never, ever notice things like that at all. I read but I do not observe.

I KNOW RIGHT?
You can find it and other cuties in our very own Cat Macros thread in Mrs. Norton's Drawing Room.

Ahh, me too. I wish Doyle had actually written some for the fans to devour, but then again, I kind of doubt that he himself knew the distinct differences between cigar ashes. The one about ears he might've been able to write, but as for the others... not likely. x)

*Bows* Thanks! To be quite honest, though, even I'm surprised that I noticed them! I usually don't pick up on small things like that. o.0

Depleted bank account: Watson and them horses.

Financial part of the paper: Maybe Holmes read it earlier? For some reason, I doubt after awhile that he only read the agony columns. He certainly didn't read much politics, but he seemed to read a lot of other things.

Lawl. Holmes and his monographs. XD

Ah! Didn't even think of that! (:

Hmm... I dunno. Maybe the cases had been slow and he thought he'd try finding some in different parts of the newspaper? Or maybe he was trying to find a get-rich-quick scheme to help Watson and his depleted bank account, seeing as he WAS looking in the financial section. ;P

You're awesome.

You're awesomer. ^^

[BakerStreetBabe]

I've had the same thoughts on the 'brain fever' element of the stories.....it seemed to be a very commen thing back then...

[Miss J]

I've had the same thoughts on the 'brain fever' element of the stories.....it seemed to be a very commen thing back then...

I know right?
Ehoither ACD totally over exaggerated it or people back then used to be total wimps. -__-

[BakerStreetBabe]

I know right?
Ehoither ACD totally over exaggerated it or people back then used to be total wimps. -__-

I've wondered what exactly it was.....I know that fainting happened alot because of their corsets......but what exactly WAS 'brain fever' and is there something like it today that we have a name for....some nervous attack...... ?

[Miss J]

I've wondered what exactly it was.....I know that fainting happened alot because of their corsets......but what exactly WAS 'brain fever' and is there something like it today that we have a name for....some nervous attack...... ?

Well, here's what Wikipedia says:

Through the 1800s, "brain fever" was poorly understood or defined. [...] Adults who contracted meningitis or encephalitis suffered acute and chronic changes in brain functions and mental processes, emotions, and motor skills, often becoming childlike or becoming aggressive/attacking. Adults and children often regressed to soiling themselves, needing to be fed, needing help with mobility (e.g. standing, walking, etc.) Sufferers lost mental skills, such as mathematics and reading ability. Inflammation and swelling of the brain could cause profound mental and emotional changes, from inability to think, plan, or act meaningfully on plans, or to act-out, hitting, pinching, biting, etc. Many persons with these illnesses could wander away and thus, life without constant supervision became unsafe.

Sounds a bit off from how it's described in the books, but... *shrug*
o.o

[Lady Halle]

Was it some kind of environmental poison more common then than now?

*puzzles*

[BakerStreetBabe]

Was it some kind of environmental poison more common then than now?

*puzzles*

I dunno...the wikipedia definition sounds kindof like the Canon descriptions, only....much more serious. The ladies in the Canon who had it recovered, as I remember, and if it was encephalitis or meningitis......that's not something one quickly recovers from, if they do at all!!

[Miss J]

It's been a few days since I've posted another synopsis thingamawhozit on here, so... here ya go!
Enjoy! ;D

First thought: Two down, seventeen and a novel to go! Yipee!

That's darn right! "Curious experiences', not "typical cases!"
.... Continue, Watson.

"Cornish Horror"??!
*Imagines giant corn-on-the-cob monster terrorizing London*

*Gasp!* How dare they suggest that Holmes should stop working cases?!
Well... I gues that it IS better than him suffering an epic mental breakdown.... though I must admit it'd be kind of interesting to see how he'd behave in the funny farm. I bet he'd be really smooth and cunning and scare the crap out of the workers there (much like Hannibal Lecter, 'cept for the whole "RAWR I'MA EATCHOOOO" thing...), but I really must move on......

Geeze, I hope this place is real. It sounds... enchanting. (:

Wow, to recount something perfectly after thirteen years, Watson must either have an amazing memory or amazing notes. Or, hey! Maybe both! Either way, way to go, Doc! ;D

Note to self: look up what a hamlet is - every time I see that word I can't help but think of Shakespeare....
[Update: a hamlet is a small village]

Has Watson ever actually glared at anyone? Really... I never remember him doing that. o.o

Once again: seriously, a woman frightened to death and two grown men scared out of their senses? People in Victorian England are such wimps! :|

"Well, Mr. Holmes, I supped there"
THAT SOUNDS SO FLIPPIN' GANGSTAH!! XDD

Gosh, now the doctor's fainted? I'm surprised that Holmes 'n' Watson don't faint right now - it seems to be the new fad!

Huh! Looks that Watson's finally interested in the case, seeing as he's not trying to dissuade Holmes now.

NOW THE OLD LADY FAINTED.
GOOD HEAVENS!!

Uh-huh. Typical of Watson to immediately make note of 'fairer sex's' looks..... even when they're dead....
What ever happened to his second wife, anyways??

Random note: I just logged onto HN fro what I told myself would only be five minutes, but, alas, here it is fourty-five minutes later and I just now picked my pencil back up. I blame you all.....

"I think, Watson, that I shall resume that course of tobacco-poisoning which you have so often and so justly condemned."
Honestly, I'm surprised he's still alive after all of the insane smoking sprees he goes on....

Ah hah! I knew there was a reason for him kicking over the water pot! Good show, ol' bean, good show!
*Brick'd*

Gee, it certainly must be handy to detach your mind like that! Ah, if only I could, I believe I'd be better off, too...

A lion hunter? Colonial Sebastian Moran's long lost brother, perhaps? Lion hunter and tiger bagger brothers... they could have their own business together, you know... *Rambles on*

Hmm... seeing as the whole family is now either dead or insane, it's apparent that the murderer (for it WAS intentional) either had a great grudge against the family or they were next in line for the inheritance. I wonder which....

"You will seat yourself near that open window in an armchair unless, like a sensible man, you determine to have nothing to do with the affair. Oh, you will see it out, will you? I thought I knew my Watson."
< 333

Haha, aww! Holmes is such a softie! xP

DR. PROFESSOR LION HUNTER?!
FANTASTIC!!

"I followed you."
"I saw no one."
"That is what you may expect to see when I follow you."
XDD

Watson knows Latin! Huh!
I wonder... did he learn it for his profession, or did schools teach Latin back then like how they teach Spanish now?
Hmmm...

Ah, so the crime, indeed, was done for money and inheritance! Not by who I expected, but anywho...

OOOOOH. SO THAT'S WHY EVERYONE WAS FAINTING LEFT AND RIGHT!
SILLY ME, AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST BEING TYPICAL VICTORIAN PEOPLE!
*SHOTDOWN*

Once again, he has such a big heart. Just... wow. And his sense of justice and... just... people prefer sparkly pretty-boy vampires over THIS guy? What is wrong with people?!

~ Miss J
5/9/09

That was kind of short, but either way... there ya go.
Hope ya liked it!

Love,
Your friendly neighborhood J

[Lady Halle]

Well... I gues that it IS better than him suffering an epic mental breakdown.... though I must admit it'd be kind of interesting to see how he'd behave in the funny farm. I bet he'd be really smooth and cunning and scare the crap out of the workers there (much like Hannibal Lecter, 'cept for the whole "RAWR I'MA EATCHOOOO" thing...), but I really must move on......

Funny that you mention this because I just recently asked some similar questions under the House & Holmes: A Well-Funded Fanfic? thread that we've got going here. If you haven't watched House (who is very similar to Holmes in a lot of ways), you should rent some DVDs or watch the reruns on USA channel and get acquainted with the show for the sixth season of the show. I don't want to give away too many spoilers, but lately House has been seeing things that aren't there, and the last shot of the season finale was of his best friend Wilson (who is similar to Watson in a lot of ways) watching him going up to the doors of a psychiatric hospital. (We aren't quite sure yet if his hallucinations are being caused by mental illness, overwork, or a reaction from House's addiction to painkillers...or all of the above.) And it totally made me want to see something similar from Holmes...is that creepy, or what? Anyway, I'm hoping the writers explore what it's like for a logical brilliant doctor to be in a psychiatric hospital...

"You will seat yourself near that open window in an armchair unless, like a sensible man, you determine to have nothing to do with the affair. Oh, you will see it out, will you? I thought I knew my Watson."
< 333

I love this too. <3 <3 <3

"I followed you."
"I saw no one."
"That is what you may expect to see when I follow you."
XDD

One of the great lines of the Canon. *sigh*

Watson knows Latin! Huh!
I wonder... did he learn it for his profession, or did schools teach Latin back then like how they teach Spanish now?
Hmmm...

Yeah, it was often taught in middle/high school. (Or the Victorian equivalent thereof.)

OOOOOH. SO THAT'S WHY EVERYONE WAS FAINTING LEFT AND RIGHT!
SILLY ME, AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST BEING TYPICAL VICTORIAN PEOPLE!
*SHOTDOWN*

LOL! SOMETIMES THAT HAPPENS, DOESN'T IT???

Once again, he has such a big heart. Just... wow. And his sense of justice and... just... people prefer sparkly pretty-boy vampires over THIS guy? What is wrong with people?!

I know. And on top of that, one of my personal favorite lines from the Canon -

"I have never loved, Watson, but if I did and if the woman I loved had met such an end, I might act even as our lawless lion-hunter has done."

Cue the fanfic of Holmes discovering the body of his wife, followed by his torture of the murderer. True love, folks!

Now I wonder if he would torture for Watson. (I think I know the answer, though... Watson is endangered in one of the stories and there is a great scene there but since I don't know if you've read that story or not I won't elaborate on it.)

[Miss J]

Funny that you mention this because I just recently asked some similar questions under the House & Holmes: A Well-Funded Fanfic? thread that we've got going here. If you haven't watched House (who is very similar to Holmes in a lot of ways), you should rent some DVDs or watch the reruns on USA channel and get acquainted with the show for the sixth season of the show. I don't want to give away too many spoilers, but lately House has been seeing things that aren't there, and the last shot of the season finale was of his best friend Wilson (who is similar to Watson in a lot of ways) watching him going up to the doors of a psychiatric hospital. (We aren't quite sure yet if his hallucinations are being caused by mental illness, overwork, or a reaction from House's addiction to painkillers...or all of the above.) And it totally made me want to see something similar from Holmes...is that creepy, or what? Anyway, I'm hoping the writers explore what it's like for a logical brilliant doctor to be in a psychiatric hospital...

Oh really now?
I used to be a HUGE House fanatic when the series first aired, but after they got the new team (last season, I believe?) and everything, I was kinda turned off to it. That, and also the main formula of the show is just repeated to death.
Patient comes in with illness.
House discovers what it is.
New symptom occurs which proves House's theory wrong.
Repeat step two and three as many times as you like, then House eventually solves the mystery.

But... yeah... I am pretty interested about what I've heard of the whole psychiatric hospital idea, though. I read up on that thread a few days ago and was intrigued.
Dunno. I just might have to catch this season, then. ;D

I love this too. <3 <3 <3

IKNOWRIGHT?
It's so adorable! x)

One of the great lines of the Canon. *sigh*

Yeah, that and ""Indeed, I cannot think why the whole bed of the ocean is not one solid mass of oysters, so prolific the creatures seem... Shall the world, then, be overrun with oysters? No, no; horrible!"
xD

LOL! SOMETIMES THAT HAPPENS, DOESN'T IT???

HAHA, YEAH! xP

I know. And on top of that, one of my personal favorite lines from the Canon -

"I have never loved, Watson, but if I did and if the woman I loved had met such an end, I might act even as our lawless lion-hunter has done."

Cue the fanfic of Holmes discovering the body of his wife, followed by his torture of the murderer. True love, folks!

Now I wonder if he would torture for Watson. (I think I know the answer, though... Watson is endangered in one of the stories and there is a great scene there but since I don't know if you've read that story or not I won't elaborate on it.)

Ah! How could I forget to quote that line??

Huh! I'd be interested in reading that fic, if you'd happen to remember where I could find it.
Haha, yeah, I'd say! ;P

You know... now that you've got me thinking about it, I can very easily see him doing that for Watson.
But only if it was extreme - say, if someone killed Watson or if someone did something to Watson that completely destroyed him - then I could very well see Holmes doing that on his behalf.
And... might I ask what story you're talking about? I just might have to skip to that one early. ;D

(Sorry if this seems kinda rushed - I only had like, five minutes to type all this and yeah. ^^')

[Lady Halle]

Oh really now?
I used to be a HUGE House fanatic when the series first aired, but after they got the new team (last season, I believe?) and everything, I was kinda turned off to it.

Yeah, I can see why. The last few episodes from this season were really amazing though (I thought so, anyway; people either seemed to love 'em or hate 'em). Hugh Laurie did an outstanding job with the whole mental breakdown thing.

Huh! I'd be interested in reading that fic, if you'd happen to remember where I could find it.

I should have clarified...to the best of my knowledge, it's not a real fic. Rather I meant that I think fanfic writers would be interested in exploring the concept...

And... might I ask what story you're talking about? I just might have to skip to that one early. ;D

Three Garridebs. Kind of a lame story (as lame as Holmes stories can be, anyway, which is still pretty awesome), but that one scene is great.

[BakerStreetBabe]

Awesome awesome!!!
I too, wonder how girls can be sooo caught up in a stupid sparkly vampire guy.....jeez!!!
Holmes is soooooooooo much better!
Actually, on one of the threads, I told the story of the 'debate' I had with a twilight fan on who was better: Holmes, or Edward...
needless to say......she gave up.

[Miss J]

Yeah, I can see why. The last few episodes from this season were really amazing though (I thought so, anyway; people either seemed to love 'em or hate 'em). Hugh Laurie did an outstanding job with the whole mental breakdown thing.

Oh really, now?
*Makes mental note to Youtube last episode later*

I should have clarified...to the best of my knowledge, it's not a real fic. Rather I meant that I think fanfic writers would be interested in exploring the concept...

Oh! My bad! That would be quite an interesting fic, though, if it was tastefully done.
Like if it focused more on Holmes' thoughts and emotions rather than what he was doing, though the latter should have enough details that you can clearly imagine what he's doing without it just being disgusting, you know?

Three Garridebs. Kind of a lame story (as lame as Holmes stories can be, anyway, which is still pretty awesome), but that one scene is great.

I didn't know that those words could even exist in the same sentence (unless, of course, you're talking about the upcoming movie, but I DO digress...)
And I'll be sure to keep my eyes open for that moment when I read it.

[Miss J]

Awesome awesome!!!
I too, wonder how girls can be sooo caught up in a stupid sparkly vampire guy.....jeez!!!
Holmes is soooooooooo much better!
Actually, on one of the threads, I told the story of the 'debate' I had with a twilight fan on who was better: Holmes, or Edward...
needless to say......she gave up.

Thank you very much!!

Honestly!
Admittedly, I've read all four of the books and seen the movie and everything and... he just can't hold a candle to Holmes.
Gosh, I'm just WAITING for some Twilophile to come by so I can get into a Holmes > Edward debate with them and, of course, utterly own them, because really... he just.... no.
Holmesplz.

By the way, may I have the link to said thread?

[Lady Halle]

I didn't know that those words could even exist in the same sentence (unless, of course, you're talking about the upcoming movie, but I DO digress...)
And I'll be sure to keep my eyes open for that moment when I read it.

Lame was too strong a word, I guess. I retract my statement LOL. But...eh, you'll know what I mean once you read it. Technically speaking it's not the best. But it has Holmes in it, so <3 <3 <3